


the Betrayer

by bengisuus



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 03:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13309764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bengisuus/pseuds/bengisuus
Summary: They sit in silence for a while. It’s comforting after years and years of solitude.





	the Betrayer

They sit in silence for a while. It’s comforting after years and years of solitude.

Inside the tent is so quiet Torian can hear the faint purring sound rising from Berra’s throat. Something that surely baffled him back when they just started their relationship now it felt as though no noise in the galaxy could be more comforting. 

He reaches and holds her hand, a stark contrast with his own, tiny and covered in soft black fur.Looks harmless but Torian knows they’re far from that having seen her claws hidden beneath the soft pads of her fingers. There are a lot of scratches on her palms from never wearing gloves no matter how many pairs he gifted her. She always wore them for a week and they somehow disappeared afterwards.

Torian could never get mad at her though, not when she looks up with those big, blue and utterly alien eyes. Her beautiful eyes that made him drop his guard on a sudden almost a decade ago. 

Longer they sit in silence, more memories he recalls and Torian feels as though he can finally breathe again, the sense of comfort and love overwhelming the last remains of the strain from his body. He has a lot to say. He could start talking and not finish until the sunrise but talking is not what he wants to do now. 

Oddly enough the night feels a lot like their first time.

Torian doesn’t know where to put his hands, heart in the mouth he waits for her to make the first move but this time she sits beside him almost as much as nervously and hides her face behind her hair. It looks like a soft dark curtain between them, she’s holding her hand around her mouth like she always did when she’s about to say something difficult. When she couldn’t really find the words. 

He grabs Berra in a fit of courage and sets her in his lap, enveloping her so close their noses are touching. It surprises a laugh out of her much to his relief so he takes it as an all-clear and pulls her in for a kiss, urgently. She is as warm as he remembers, the soft feel of her mouth against his own after such long time is indescribable. 

It makes him feel younger, of the times when he wasn’t troubled by a galaxy-wide battle and all he wanted was to hunt beside Berra until he his final days and maybe raise a child or two.

He’s so lost in thought and Berra, the moment. The moment he’s been dreaming he doesn’t feel her pulling away. She turns away quietly as if she remembered something. Torian can’t really make out the expression on her face…-guilt?- but he finally wakes up from the hazy dream of their reunion, a sense of dread replacing the euphoria.  
They sit frozen for a moment, Berra looks somewhere over his shoulder before she finally decides to face him, slips off his lap and Torian can’t help but let out a noise of protest; his hand reaching unconsciously before he sets them firmly on the bed. No means no, after all. 

He briefly wonders if she came to a conclusion about their earlier fight and decide to break up with him. I knew it, Torian thinks before his mind can process anything. I knew it I knew this would happen eventually…- He feels a lump in his throat and tries to swallow around it, looking away from Berra. A part of him wants to beg for another chance but..but..-

‘Torian… Torian?’ a face turns his head not so gently. ‘Listen here..-don’t look like that! I just…well I wanted to..-No. I mean I thought we could speak something before…anything can happen you know. Because. I’d hate myself forever if…-No, I mean..what I mean is..-wait, are you crying?‘ 

’..Just sand. Go on.’ Torian forces out of his mouth.

Nothing Berra says make sense and she’s usually not one to babble. It sets him on edge perhaps more than he’s ever been in the five years and he had some tough missions. She’s trying to let me down easy.

‘Well…I just…Alright.Alright. I’ll just go ahead and say it then. If you’ve been with…anyone during the time we’re apart I forgive you completely. It’s no matter at all. Definitely. Nothing.’ she smiles and shakes her hand animatedly, ‘It’s all in the past, right? So..yes. Not at all..important…-wait I said this already. Hey?! ‘ 

She looks at him as if he’ grown another head when he starts laughing, relief so strong and potent it makes him feel dizzy with it. He wipes his eyes trying talk through heaving breaths;

’ I…Was this all? Knew you’d ask this!’ He almost yells in triumph. 

The same woman he loved and married years ago, not changed at all. Her jealousy that irritated him more than once in the past now making him pull her to himself to plant a kiss on the scruffy part of her jaw. Changed a little maybe. Berra he knew would go after them one by one.

Not that there is anyone and he tells her that with more than a little pride.

5 years after all.

Berra looks even more comfortable if that’s possible. 

'It meant nothing!’ she blurts out before he can ask what’s wrong. 

'Torian.Honestly.It was…nothing for me.I..-’ she stops abruptly, looking down.

He doesn’t understand for a moment. How long it’s been for her? Six months? Longer? Who? Why? Berra fidgets in her place, Torian continues thinking. He’s angry…disappointed. And he’s angry at himself too because deep down he knows he’ll forgive her but he decides he won’t make it easy for Berra. 

'Say something!’ she says, 'C'mon Torian…Yell, get angry but don’t just.-' 

'Shut up.’

Berra’s jaw snaps shut and Torian feels guilty. He’s not the one who should feel guilty, yet he does anyway. Damn those eyes.  
'Who?’

’…Lana.’

’…the Sith? One on the com? Nice choice. A common man wouldn’t be enough, had to choose one who called our people animals.’ He stands up, not knowing what to do but if anything he knows he’ll do more damage if he stays right there but he wants her to feel bad. Upset. 

Nothing could match the betrayal he feels deeply but it should be sufficient. He doesn’t turn to look at her before he leaves and for the first time in his life, he doesn’t hold himself back either.

'Gotta take care of something. Try not to sleep with anyone while I’m gone. Do have a reputation to protect. Took five years, no thanks to you.’ and he leaves before he can turn back and apologize or worse, see her cry. 

Time for a drink, now.

**Author's Note:**

> after metamorphosis and broken armour ^^  
> thanks for reading!


End file.
